So I graduated a few months ago now and the question that I have been asked the most since that day is…. What are you doing now??? Well I thought it would be obvious when I’m in work when they ask me… working. But in all seriousness… in the long run, I seriously have no idea. I know I am moving to London to see if I can make something of myself instead of being stuck in a sleepy town having given up.
Most of my friends are still in University or already in London applying for jobs, getting agents and castings, and in all honesty I’m scared. What if I crash and burn when I’m there and have to move back. I would feel so embarrassed. I know I will have people to keep me going and give me the confidence to do all the things I should be, but I have recently learned that I cannot keep relying on other people to help me. I need to help myself and by that I mean doing anything I can to get what I want.
The questions that haunts me now though is WHAT??? what do I want to do with my life, do I want to do what i went to Uni for and that’s directing, do I want to act, do I want to write (well I will always be a writer) or do I want to pursue any of these things anymore. I have been thinking lately of the PR side of things. I think I would have to quote Billy Elliot at this point “It’s like that there’s music, playing in your ear, but the music is impossible, impossible to hear” It just about sums up how I feel, as soon as I have my heart set upon something, something else comes along and changes my mind HOW ANNOYING.
I suppose that when the time comes to it I will have to man up and the face the music. I plan to get a job, just a job anywhere and see what path it takes me on, but either way I will have tried and somewhere down the line I will find what I have always wanted to do, and unfortunately it won’t be any of my childhood professions, Spy, Artist (my drawing sucks, no matter how much I practice) Inventer (my track record with technology is sooooo not good)
At the moment I am very happy sticking with the things that I love the most and that all happens in the comfort of my own home. I’ll start worrying properly after Christmas.